Friday, May 02, 2014

We Are (almost) All Monkeys

So, you've probably heard the story by now. In fact, you've probably heard the follow-up stories and you've certainly had every possibility to see some of the photos, and you may even have been one of the thousands of tweeters, re-tweeters, google+ers, facbookers, snapchatters and over-the-fence-gossips who helped to spread the story. For those who missed it, it goes like this:

Dani Alves, a footballer in Catalonia, was subject to a VERY COMMON racist insult during a match. Some schmuck threw a banana onto the pitch, with the usual accompanying cries of "monkey". Alves picked up the banana, peeled it, and ate it, inadvertently launching a campaign that one of his colleagues had been planning for some time: a social media campaign of footballers and other celebrities eating bananas with the hashtag we are all monkeys.

The police have arrested the cap-de-cul, and just about everyone in the world has had something to say about it up until now. As the last lemming in the parade, I'd just like to add share my opinion. Of course, I could be wrong. It wouldn't be the first time today.

You see, I think that the banana-thrower may just be right about one thing. Maybe he isn't as much of a monkey as all of those other people eating bananas in front of cameras. As an anthropologist and an educated member of the human race in the 21st century I agree that we are (almost) all monkeys. I mean, I would prefer the words "great ape", but monkey will do.

I add the word "almost" because I think the racist banana-thrower may not be a monkey, and I have evidence!

After all, everyone knows that most monkeys are full of bananas and throw their shit.