A NEW DEVIL'S DICTIONARY: SAMPLE 0011

Here's a larger-than-usual sample from my new Devil's Dictionary, a compendium of definitions for words and phrases that are commonly (ab)used in Silicon Valley.
I'm going to take a break from this Devil's Dictionary for the next couple of weeks and write about something else. As the world economy recovers from the pandemic, there is an almost desperate need to make hiring practices more efficient. A few connections recently asked for my advice on this matter. My next few posts will sum up the ideas I shared with them. I hope you will find them useful or, at least, informative. Whatever your opinion, I hope you'll let me know.
John

Jammed - (adj)
The current state of the 101 Hollywood Freeway, regardless of when you are reading this.

Jargon - (n)
A linguistic tactic for social exclusion.

Java - (n)
A people, an ocean, an island, a beverage, and two languages, one of which is oriented to objects other than those listed.

Javascript - (n)
The list of milk alternatives and sugar syrups that help 20 cents worth of coffee fill a six dollar cup.

Jidoka - (n)
Hugely popular among proponents of lean and agile production, this is Toyota's modification of the Japanese word for automation, introducing the hugely unpopular idea that automated processes should be immediately responsive to the human perception of flaws or faults.

Job - (n)
Archaic term for the recurring tasks performed in exchange for the expectation of regular payment, from back when it was reasonable to expect regular payment for recurring tasks.

Job-job - (n)
The phrase used to distinguish your current career position from the two or three other jobs that help you pay your bills.

Jock - (n)
Someone who will spend most of their life lost in memories of the few seasons they spent as an athlete.

Joke - (n)
A verbal construct that sets and then defies expectations of internal consistency in a manner that triggers a fucking laugh.

Joke - (v)
According to HR, this is what your boss was doing when you unfairly took offence.

Joking - (n)
Napoleon Bonaparte's older brother, twice.

Jour fixe meeting - (n)
A recurring meeting, from the French for "I know words you don't."

Juggle - (v)
To keep more than one thing in the air at one time, such as balls, bowling pins, professional responsibilities, or personal relationships.

Juice - (n)
Social influence within the company. What your interim manager is going to try to squeeze out of you before moving on to their next gig.

Juice bar - (n)
The in-house smoothie station where people with enough juice hold their one-on-ones.

Junior - (adj)
The descriptor that results when a diminutive and a pejorative like each other very much and give each other a special grown-up hug.

Junk - (n)
Another person's treasure, especially when that other person is a hoarder.

Junk - (v)
To reduce something to scrap, either physically or emotionally.

Just - (adj)
Either "only" or "fair," which seems both.

Justice - (n)
The turning wheel on which karma is delivered, seemingly with speed and comfort based on social standing.

Thanks for reading,
John